"Ashes" Reading Response (Final Draft)

“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.”  -Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

When I was growing up I remember believing that my parents always knew best and that they were incapable of making mistakes. However, as a teenager I realized that my parents, like every other human being, did indeed make mistakes and also made decisions that I didn’t always agree with.  “Ashes” by Susan Beth Pfeffer tells the story of Ashleigh, a high school student who, shuffled between divorced parents, is about to meet her father for what she believes will be a typical evening together. Instead, as this short story unfolds, Ashleigh’s father asks her to borrow two hundred dollars for him from her mother who keeps this money hidden at her house for emergencies. He is secretive about why he needs it, disclosing only that he owes money to some shady characters. Still, he promises he will return the money and her mother will never know. This interaction prompts Ashleigh to begin to view her father differently than she ever has before. The author of this story uses celestial symbols to represent how Ashleigh’s view of her father changes throughout the story.

                The story opens with Ashleigh describing how she feels about her father when she sees him. In the first sentence she states that “Every time I saw my father, the sun cast off just a little more warmth than it had the day before,” (pg. 225).  The author is using the sun to represent how excited Ashleigh is to see her father. She spends most of her time with her strict mother. When she is with her father her life feels more spontaneous and exciting. Her father is described in the story as a dreamer who, although might be considered irresponsible in many ways, ultimately has a kind heart. This is significant because these are characteristics about her father that Ashleigh feels are admirable.

As the story progresses we start to see how Ashleigh is reflecting on moments in her life when her father was not always reliable. The author uses the symbol of a necklace made of stars to show us how Ashleigh’s father did not always keep promises that he made to her. Although he might mean well, her father often promised her things that never materialized. In one part of the story the author compares how Ashleigh never got the necklace made of stars to how she and her mother often did not get child support checks. This leads to a turning point in the story when Ashleigh and her father are having dinner and he asks her if she will take the money from her mother for him. Ashleigh is clearly uncomfortable about this and conflicted about what to do. She loves her father but she also knows that he doesn’t always keep his promises. It’s possible that if she takes the money her father will not keep his promise to return it.

As the story comes to a close Ashleigh’s father is giving her a ride home after dinner. There is tension in the car because Ashleigh feels uncomfortable with what her father is asking her to do. At this point the author uses the moon to convey the tone in the car when she states in the story that “For a moment, a cloud drifted past the moon and the sky turned a greenish gray,” (pg. 229).  Just as the sun’s rays painted a picture of happiness and excitement, the clouds, moon and dark sky symbolize the change in Ashleigh’s view of her father. She is beginning to question his integrity and character. Although her father has been unreliable in the past, she has for the most part ignored those traits because she loves him. However, he has never before asked her to lie to or steal from her mother, and this change is forcing her to question his integrity.

The author’s use of celestial symbols throughout the story effectively helps to convey how Ashleigh begins to view her father differently. At the beginning of the story the author uses the image of the sun to support that Ashleigh is filled with nothing but love for her father.  By the end, the author uses the image of clouds over the moon to help describe that Ashleigh is discovering she can no longer completely ignore her father’s shortcomings, and that she doesn’t completely agree with his ideas. Others can connect to this story because many people experience a changing view of a loved one. This might be a parent, friend or relative whose judgment is questioned when before it was always trusted. At some point in our lives we are all faced with the realization that people are not always who we envision them to be. It is important to trust our instincts, and to sometimes question the judgment of others, even those we love.